Arunachal kush

Some rare arunachal kush which comes only once a year in september

David

Gilmour

My Marijuana Foods

Acapulco Green

3 ripe avocados

½ cup chopped onions

2 teaspoons chili powder

3 tablespoons wine vinegar

½ cup chopped marijuana (grass)

Mix the vinegar, grass, and chili powder together and let the mixture stand for one hour. Then add avocados and onions and mash it all together. It can be served with tacos or as a dip.

Pot Soup

1 can condensed beef broth

3 tablespoons grass

3 tablespoons lemon juice

½ can water

3 tablespoons chopped watercress

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat. Place in a refrigerator for two to three hours, reheat, and serve.

Pork and Beans and Pot

1 large can (1 lb. 13 oz.) pork and beans

½ cup grass

4 slices bacon

½ cup light molasses

½ teaspoon hickory salt

3 pineapple rings

Mix together in a casserole, cover top with pineapple and bacon, bake at 350° for about 45 minutes. Serves about six.

The Meat Ball

1 lb. hamburger

¼ cup chopped onions

1 can cream of mushroom soup

¼ cup bread crumbs

3 tablespoons grass

3 tablespoons India relish

Mix it all up and shape into meat balls. Brown in frying pan and drain. Place in a casserole with soup and ½ cup water, cover and cook over low heat for about 30 minutes. Feeds about four people.

Spaghetti Sauce

1 can (6 oz.) tomato paste

2 tablespoons olive oil

½ cup chopped onions

½ cup chopped grass

1 pinch pepper

1 can (6 oz.) water

½ clove minced garlic

1 bay leaf

1 pinch thyme

½ teaspoon salt

Mix in large pot, cover and simmer with frequent stirring for two hours. Serve over spaghetti.

Pot Loaf

1 packet onion soup mix

1 (16 oz.) can whole peeled tomatoes

½ cup chopped grass

2 lbs. ground beef or chicken or turkey

1 egg

4 slices bread, crumbled

Mix all ingredients and shape into a loaf. Bake for one hour in 400° oven. Serves about six.

Chili Bean Pot

2 lbs. pinto beans

1 lb. bacon, cut into two-inch sections

2 cups red wine

4 tablespoons chili powder

½ clove garlic

1 cup chopped grass

½ cup mushrooms

Soak beans overnight in water. In a large pot pour boiling water over beans and simmer for at least an hour, adding more  water  to keep beans covered. Now add all other ingredients and continue to simmer for another three hours. Salt to taste. Serves about ten.

Bird Stuffing

5 cups rye bread crumbs

2 tablespoons poultry seasoning

½ cup each of raisins and almonds

½ cup celery

1/3 cup chopped onions

3 tablespoons melted butter

½ cup chopped grass

2 tablespoons red wine

Mix it all together, and then stuff it in.

Apple Pot

4 apples (cored)

½ cup brown sugar

¼ cup water

4 cherries

1/3 cup chopped grass

2 tablespoons cinnamon

Powder the grass in a blender, then mix grass with sugar and water. Stuff cores with this paste. Sprinkle apples with cinnamon, and top with a cherry. Bake for 25 minutes at 350°.

Pot Brownies

½ cup flour

3 tablespoons shortening

2 tablespoons honey

1 egg (beaten)

1 tablespoon water

½ cup grass

pinch of salt

¼ teaspoon baking powder

½ cup sugar

2 tablespoons corn syrup

1 square melted chocolate

1 teaspoon vanilla

½ cup chopped nuts

Sift flour, baking  powder, and salt together. Mix shortening, sugar, honey, syrup, and egg. Then blend in chocolate and other ingredients, and mix well. Spread in an 8-inch pan and bake for 20 minutes at 350°.

Banana Bread

½ cup shortening

2 eggs

1 teaspoon lemon juice

3 teaspoons baking powder

1 cup sugar

1 cup mashed bananas

2 cups sifted flour

½ cup chopped grass

½ teaspoon salt

1 cup chopped nuts

Mix the shortening and sugar, beat eggs, and add to mixture. Separately mix  bananas with lemon juice and add to the first mixture. Sift flour, salt, and baking powder together, then mix all ingredients together. Bake for 1 ¼ hours at 375°.

Sesame Seed Cookies

3 oz. ground roast sesame seeds

3 tablespoons ground almonds

¼ teaspoon nutmeg

¼ cup honey

½ teaspoon ground ginger

¼ teaspoon cinnamon

¼ oz. grass

Toast the grass until slightly brown and then crush it in a mortar. Mix crushed grass with all other ingredients, in a skillet. Place skillet over low flame and add 1 tablespoon of salt butter. Allow it to cook. When cool, roll mixture into little balls and dip them into the sesame seeds.

If you happen to be in the country at a place where pot is being grown, here's one of the greatest recipes you can try. Pick a medium-sized leaf off of the marijuana plant and dip it into a cup of drawn butter, add salt, and eat.

Easiest way to hotwire cars....

You need:

A disk

Scissors

White or blue kitchen matches (they MUST be these colors!)

Clear nail polish

Carefully open up the diskette (3½" disks are best for this!)

Remove the cotton covering from the inside.

Scrape a lot of match powder into a bowl (use a wooden scraper, metal might spark the matchpowder!)

After you have a lot, spread it evenly on the disk.

Using the nail polish, spread it over the match mixture

Let it dry

Carefully put the diskette back together and use the nail polish to seal it shut on the inside (where it came apart).

When that disk is in a drive, the drive head attempts to read the disk, which causes a small fire (ENOUGH HEAT TO MELT THE DISK DRIVE AND FUCK THE HEAD UP!!). Let the fuckhead try and fix THAT!!!

How to make smoke bombs?

Here is the recipe for one hell of a smoke bomb!

4 parts sugar

6 parts potassium nitrate (Salt Peter)

Heat this mixture over a LOW flame until it melts, stirring well. Pour it into a future container and, before it solidifies, imbed a few matches into the mixture to use as fuses. One pound of this stuff will fill up a whole block with thick, white smoke! 

how to make letter bombs?

You will first have to make a mild version of thermite. Use my recipe, but substitute iron fillings for rust.

Mix the iron with aluminum fillings in a ratio of 75% aluminum to 25% iron. This mixture will burn violently in a closed space (such as an envelope). This bring us to our next ingredient...

Go to the post office and buy an insulated (padded) envelope. You know, the type that is double layered. Separate the layers and place the mild thermite in the main section, where the letter would go. Then place magnesium powder in the outer layer. There is your bomb!!

Now to light it... this is the tricky part and hard to explain. Just keep experimenting until you get something that works. The fuse is just that touch explosive I have told you about in another one of my anarchy files. You might want to wrap it like a long cigarette and then place it at the top of the envelope in the outer layer (on top of the powdered magnesium). When the touch explosive is torn or even squeezed hard it will ignite the powdered magnesium (sort of a flash light) and then it will burn the mild thermite. If the thermite didn't blow up, it would at least burn the fuck out of your enemy (it does wonders on human flesh!).

MailboX Bombs

U need

Two liter bottle of chlorine (must contain sodium hypochlorate)

Small amount of sugar

Small amount of water

Mix all three of these in equal amounts to fill about 1/10 of the bottle. Screw on the lid and place in a mailbox. It's hard to believe that such a small explosion will literally rip the mailbox in half and send it 20 feet into the air! Be careful doing this,  though, because if you are caught, it is not up to the person whose mailbox you blew up to press charges. It is up to the city.

How to make a fertilizer bomb

Ingredients:

Newspaper

Fertilizer (the chemical kind, GREEN THUMB or ORCHO)

Cotton

Diesel fuel

Make a pouch out of the newspaper and put some fertilizer in it. Then put cotton on top. Soak the cotton with fuel. Then light and run like you have never ran before! This blows up 500 square feet so don't do it in an alley!!

Do you hate school?

>>>>>One of my favorites for getting out of a class or two is to call in a bomb threat. Tell 'em that it is in a locker. Then they have to check them all, whilst you can slip away for an hour or two. You can even place a fake bomb (in any locker but YOURS!). They might cancel school for a week while they investigate (of course, you will probably have to make it up in the summer).

>>>>>Get some pure potassium or pure sodium, put it in a capsule, and flush it down the toilet (smells awful! Stinks up the whole school!).

>>>>>Use a smoke grenade in the hallway.

>>>>>Steal the computer passwords & keys. Or steal the 80 column cards inside if they are (gag) IBM.

>>>>>Make friends with student assistants and have them change your grades when the teachers hand in their bubble sheets for the report cards.

>>>>>Spit your gum out on the carpet in the library or whatever and grind it into the carpet. Watch the janitors cry!

>>>>>Draw on lockers or spraypaint on the building that the principal is a fascist.

>>>>Stick a potato in the tailpipe of the principal's car.

>>>>USE YOUR IMAGINATION!

Solidox bombs

Most people are not aware that a volatile, extremely explosive chemical can be bought over the counter:  Solidox.

Solidox comes in an aluminum can containing 6 grey sticks, and can be bought at K-Mart, and various hardware supply shops for around $7.00. Solidox is used in welding applications as an oxidizing agent for the hot flame needed to melt metal. The most active ingredient in Solidox is potassium chlorate, a filler used in many military applications in the WWII era.

Since Solidox is literally what the name says: SOLID OXygen, you must have an energy source for an explosion. The most common and readily available energy source is common household sugar, or sucrose. In theory, glucose would be the purest energy source, but it is hard to find a solid supply of glucose.

Making the mixture:

Open the can of Solidox, and remove all 6 sticks. One by one, grind up each of the sticks (preferably with a mortar and pestle) into the finest powder possible.

The ratio for mixing the sugar with the Solidox is 1:1, so weigh the Solidox powder, and grind up the equivalent amount of sugar.

Mix equivalent amounts of Solidox powder, and sugar in a 1:1 ratio.

It is just that simple! You now have an extremely powerful substance that can be used in a variety of applications. A word of caution: be EXTREMELY careful in the entire process. Avoid friction, heat, and flame. A few years back, a teenager I knew blew 4 fingers off while trying to make a pipe bomb with Solidox. You have been warned!

a guide to hypnotism...

What hypnotism is?

Hypnotism, contrary to common belief, is merely state when your mind and body are in a state of relaxation and your mind is open to positive, or cleverly worded negative, influences.  It is not a trance where you:

Are totally influenceable.

Cannot lie.

A sleep which you cannot wake up from without help.

This may bring down your hope somewhat, but, hypnotism is a powerful for self help, and/or mischief.

Your subconscious mind

Before going in further, I'd like to state that hypnotism not only is great in the way that it relaxes you and gets you (in the long run) what you want, but also that it taps a force of incredible power, believe it or not, this power is your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind always knows what is going on with every part of your body, every moment of the day.  It protects you from negative influences, and retains the power to slow your heartbeat down and stuff like that. The subconscious mind holds just about all the info you would like to know

About yourself, or, in this case, the person you will be hypnotizing. There are many ways to talk to your subconscious and have it talk back to you. One way is the ouja board, no its not a spirit, merely the minds of those who are using it.  Another, which I will discuss here, is the pendulum method.  OK, here is how it goes. First, get a ring or a washer and tie it to a thread a little longer than half of your forearm.  Now, take a sheet of paper and draw a big circle in it.  In the big circle you must now draw a crosshair (a big +).  Now, put the sheet of paper on a table.  Next, hold the thread with the ring or washer on it and place it (holding the thread so that the ring is 1 inch above the paper swinging) in the middle of the crosshair.  Now, swing the thread so the washer goes up and down, say to yourself the word "Yes" now, do it side to side and say the word "no". Do it counter clockwise and say "I don't know". And lastly, do it clockwise and say "I don't want to say." Now, with the thread back in the middle of the crosshair, ask yourself questions and wait for the pendulum to swing in the direction for the answer. (yes, no, I don't know or I don't want to say...). Soon, to your amazement, it will be answering questions like anything... Let the pendulum answer, don't try.. When you try you will never get an answer.  Let the answer come to you.

How to induce hypnotism

Now that you know how to talk to your subconscious mind, I will now tell you how to guide someone into hypnosis. Note that I said guide, you can never, hypnotize someone, they must be willing. OK, the subject must be lying or sitting in a comfortable position, relaxed, and at a time when things aren't going to be interrupted. Tell them the following or something close to it, in a peaceful, monotonous tone (not a commanding tone of voice)

Note: Light a candle and place it somewhere where it can be easily seen.

"Take a deep breath through your nose and hold it in for a count of 8. Now, through your mouth, exhale completely and slowly. Continued breathing long, deep, breaths through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.  Tense up all your muscles very tight, now, counting from ten to one, release them slowly, you will find them very relaxed.  Now, look at the candle, as you look at it, with every breath and passing moment, you are feeling increasingly more and more peaceful and relaxed.  The candles flame is peaceful and bright. As you look at it I will count from 100 down, as a count, your eyes will become more and more relaxed, getting more and more tired with each passing moment." Now, count down from 100, about every 10 numbers say "When I reach xx your eyes (or you will find your eyes) are becoming more and more tired."  Tell them they may close their eyes whenever they feel like it.  If the persons eyes are still open when you get to 50 then instead of saying "your eyes will.." Say "your eyes are...". When their eyes are shut say the following. As you lie (or sit) here with your eyes comfortably close you find yourself relaxing more and more with each moment and breath. The relaxation feels pleasant and blissful so, you happily give way to this wonderful feeling. Imagine yourself on a cloud, resting peacefully, with a slight breeze caressing your body. A tingling sensation begins to work its way, within and without your toes, it slowly moves up your feet, making them warm, heavy and relaxed. The cloud is soft and supports your body with its soft texture, the scene is peaceful and absorbing, the peacefulness absorbs you completely. The tingling gently and slowly moves up your legs, relaxing them. Making them warm and heavy.  The relaxation feels very good, it feels so good to relax and let go. As the tingling continues its journey up into your solar plexus, you feel your inner stomach become very relaxed. Now, it moves slowly into your chest, making your breathing relaxed as well. The feeling begins to move up your arms to your shoulders, making your arms heavy and relaxed as well.  You are aware of the total relaxation you are now experiencing, and you give way to it.  It is good and peaceful, the tingling now moves into your face and head, relaxing your jaws, neck, and facial muscles, making your cares and worries float away. Away into the blue sky as you rest blissfully on the cloud. If they are not responsive or you think they (he or she) is going to sleep, then add in a "...always concentrating upon my voice, ignoring all other sounds.  Even though other sounds exists, they aid you in your relaxation..." They should soon let out a sigh as if they were letting go, and their face should have a "woodiness" to it, becoming featureless... Now, say the following "... You now find yourself in a hallway, the hallway is peaceful and nice. As I count from 10 to 1 you will imagine yourself walking further and further down the hall. When I reach one you will find yourself where you want to be, in another, higher state of conscious and mind. (count from ten to one)..." Do this about three or four times. Then, to test if the subject is under hypnosis or not, say "... You feel a strange sensation in your (arm they write with) arm, the feeling begins at your fingers and slowly moves up your arm, as it moves through your arm your arm becomes lighter and lighter, it will soon be so light it will ... becoming lighter and lighter which each breath and moment..." Their fingers should begin to twitch and then move up, the arm following, now my friend, you have him/her in hypnosis.  The first time you do this, while he/she is under say good things, like:  "Your going to feel great tomorrow" or "Every day in every way you will find yourself becoming better and better".. Or some crap like that... The more they go under, the deeper in hypnosis they will get each time you do it.

What to do when hypnotized

When you have them under you must word things very carefully to get your way. You cannot simply say...  Take off your clothes and fuck the pillow. No, that would not really do the trick. You must say something like.... "you find your self at home, in your room and you have to take a shower (vividly describe their room and what's happening), you begin to take off your clothes..."  Now, it can't be that simple, you must know the persons house, room, and shower room. Then describe things vividly and tell them to act it out (they have to be deeply under to do this). I would just suggest that you experiment a while, and get to know how to do things. 

Waking up

Waking up is very easy, just say "...as I count from 1 to 5 you will find yourself becoming more and more awake, more and more lively.  When you wake up you will find yourself completely alive, awake, and refreshed. Mentally and physically, remembering the pleasant sensation that hypnosis brings...  Waking up feeling like a new born baby, reborn with life and vigor, feeling excellent. Remembering that next time you enter hypnosis it will become an ever increasing deeper and deeper state than before.

You feel energy course throughout your limbs.

You begin to breathe deeply, stirring.

Beginning to move more and more your eyes open, bringing you up to full conscious.

You are up, up, up and awakening more and more.

You are awake and feeling great.

And that's it!  You now know how to hypnotize yourself and someone else.

You will learn more and more as you experiment.

tennis ball bombs

Ingredients:

Strike anywhere matches

A tennis ball

A nice sharp knife

Duct tape

Break a ton of matchheads off. Then cut a SMALL hole in the tennis ball. Stuff all of the matchheads into the ball, until you can't fit any more in. Then tape over it with duct tape. Make sure it is real nice and tight! Then, when you see a geek walking down the street, give it a good throw. He will have a blast!!

how to make Diskette bombs....

You need:

A disk

Scissors

White or blue kitchen matches (they MUST be these colors!)

Clear nail polish

Carefully open up the diskette (3½" disks are best for this!)

Remove the cotton covering from the inside.

Scrape a lot of match powder into a bowl (use a wooden scraper, metal might spark the matchpowder!)

After you have a lot, spread it evenly on the disk.

Using the nail polish, spread it over the match mixture

Let it dry

Carefully put the diskette back together and use the nail polish to seal it shut on the inside (where it came apart).

When that disk is in a drive, the drive head attempts to read the disk, which causes a small fire (ENOUGH HEAT TO MELT THE DISK DRIVE AND FUCK THE HEAD UP!!). Let the fuckhead try and fix THAT!!!

how to make plastic explosive from bleach?

Potassium chlorate is an extremely volatile explosive compound, and has been used in the past as the main explosive filler in grenades, land mines, and mortar rounds by such countries as France and Germany. Common household bleach contains a small amount of potassium chlorate, which can be extracted by the procedure that follows.

First off, you must obtain:

A heat source (hot plate, stove, etc.)

A hydrometer, or battery hydrometer

A large Pyrex, or enameled steel container (to weigh chemicals)

Potassium chloride(sold as a salt substitute at health and nutrition stores)

Take one gallon of bleach, place it in the container, and begin heating it. While this solution heats, weigh out 63 grams of potassium chloride and add this to the bleach being heated. Constantly check the solution being heated with the hydrometer, and boil until you get a reading of 1.3. If using a battery hydrometer, boil until you read a FULL charge.

Take the solution and allow it to cool in a refrigerator until it is between room temperature and 0°C. Filter out the crystals that have formed and save them. Boil this solution again and cool as before. Filter and save the crystals.

Take the crystals that have been saved, and mix them with distilled water in the following proportions: 56 grams per 100 milliliters distilled water. Heat this solution until it boils and allow to cool. Filter the solution and save the crystals that form upon cooling. This process of purification is called "fractional crystallization". These crystals should be relatively pure potassium chlorate.

Powder these to the consistency of face powder, and heat gently to drive off all moisture.

Now, melt five parts Vaseline with five parts wax. Dissolve this in white gasoline (camp stove gasoline), and pour this liquid on 90 parts potassium chlorate (the powdered crystals from above) into a plastic bowl. Knead this liquid into the potassium chlorate until intimately mixed. Allow all gasoline to evaporate. 

Finally, place this explosive into a cool, dry place. Avoid friction, sulfur, sulfides, and phosphorous compounds. This explosive is best molded to the desired shape and density of 1.3 grams in a cube and dipped in wax until water proof. These block type charges guarantee the highest detonation velocity. Also, a blasting cap of at least a 3 grade must be used.

The presence of the afore mentioned compounds (sulfur, sulfides, etc.) results in mixtures that are or can become highly sensitive and will possibly decompose explosively while in storage. You should never store homemade explosives, and you must use EXTREME caution at all times while performing the processes in this

article.

How to Kill Someone with your Bare Hands

This file will explain the basics of hand-to-hand combat, and will tell of the best places to strike and kill an enemy. When engaged in hand-to-hand combat, your life is always at stake. There is only one purpose in combat, and that is to kill your enemy. Never face an enemy with the idea of knocking him out. The chances are extremely good that he will kill YOU instead. When a weapon is not available, one must resort to the full use of his natural weapons. The natural weapons are:

The knife edge of your hands.

Fingers folded at the second joint or knuckle.

The protruding knuckle of your second finger.

The heel of your hand.

Your boot

Elbows

Knees

Your Teeth.

Attacking is a primary factor. A fight was never won by defensive action. Attack with all of your strength. At any point or any situation, some vulnerable point on your enemies body will be open for attack. Do this while screaming as screaming has two purposes.

To frighten and confuse your enemy.

To allow you to take a deep breath which, in turn, will put more oxygen in your blood stream.

Your balance and balance of your enemy are two important factors; since, if you succeed in making your enemy lose his balance, the chances are nine to one that you can kill him in your next move. The best over-all stance is where your feet are spread about shoulders width apart, with your right foot about a foot ahead of the left. Both arms should be bent at the elbows parallel to each other. Stand on the balls of your feet and bend your waist slightly. Kind of like a boxer's crouch. Employing a sudden movement or a scream or yell can throw your enemy off-balance. There are many vulnerable points of the body. We will cover them now:

Eyes: Use your fingers in a V-shape and attack in gouging motion.

Nose:(Extremely vulnerable) Strike with the knife edge of the hand along the bridge, which will cause breakage, sharp pain, temporary blindness, and if the blow is hard enough, death. Also, deliver a blow with the heel of your hand in an upward motion, this will shove the bone up into the brain causing death.

Adam's Apple: This spot is usually pretty well protected, but if you get the chance, strike hard with the knife edge of your hand. This should sever the wind-pipe, and then it's all over in a matter of minutes.

Temple: There is a large artery up here, and if you hit it hard enough, it will cause death. If you manage to knock your enemy down, kick him in the temple, and he'll never get up again.

Back of the Neck: A rabbit punch, or blow delivered to the base of the neck can easily break it, but to be safe, it is better to use the butt of a gun or some other heavy blunt object.

Upper lip: A large network of nerves are located. These nerves are extremely close to the skin. A sharp upward blow will cause extreme pain, and unconsciousness.

Ears: Coming up from behind an enemy and cupping the hands in a clapping motion over the victims ears can kill him immediately. The vibrations caused from the clapping motion will burst his eardrums, and cause internal bleeding in the brain.

Groin: A VERY vulnerable spot. If left open, get it with knee hard, and he'll buckle over very fast.

Kidneys: A large nerve that branches off to the spinal cord comes very close to the skin at the kidneys. A direct blow with the knife edge of your hand can cause death.

There are many more ways to kill and injure an enemy, but these should work best for the average person. This is meant only as information and I would not recommend that you use this for a simple High School Brawl. Use these methods only, in your opinion, if your life is in danger. Any one of these methods could very easily kill or cause permanent damage to someone. One more word of caution, you should practice these moves before using them on a dummy, or a mock battle with a friend. (You don't have to actually hit him to practice, just work on accuracy.)

how to create a new identity??

You might be saying, "Hey Glitch, what do I need a new identity for?" The answer is simple. You might want to go buy liquor somewhere, right? You might want to go give the cops the false name when you get busted so you keep your good name, eh?  You might even want to use the new identity for getting a P.O. Box for carding. Sure! You might even want the stuff for renting yourself a VCR at some dickless loser of a convenience store. Here we go: Getting a new ID isn't always easy, no one said it would be. By following these steps, any bozo can become a new bozo in a couple of weeks.

STEP 1

The first step is to find out who exactly you'll become. The most secure way is to use someone's ID who doesn't use it themselves. The people who fit that bill the best are dead. As an added bonus they don't go complaining one bit. Go to the library and look through old death notices. You have to find someone who was born about the same time as you were, or better yet, a year or two older so you can buy booze, etc. You should go back as far as you can for the death because most states now cross index deaths to births so people can't do this in the future. The cutoff date in Wisconsin is 1979, folks in this grand state gotta look in 1978 or earlier. Anything earlier there is cool. Now, this is the hardest part if you're younger. Brats that young happen to be quite resilient, taking falls out of three story windows and eating rat poison like its Easter candy, and not a scratch or dent. There ain't many that die, so ya gotta look your ass off. Go down to the library and look up all the death notices you can, if it's on microfilm so much the better. You might have to go through months of death notices though, but the results are well worth it. You gotta get someone who died locally in most instances: the death certificate is filed only in the county of death. Now you go down to the county courthouse in the county where he died and get the death certificate, this will cost you around $3-$5 depending on the state you're in. Look at this hunk of paper, it could be your way to vanish in a cloud of smoke when the right time comes, like right after that big scam. If You're lucky, the slobs parents signed him up with social security when he was a snot nosed brat. That'll be another piece of ID you can get. If not, that's Ok too. It'll be listed on the death certificate if he has one. If you're lucky, the stiff was born locally and you can get his birth certificate right away.

STEP 2

Now check the place of birth on the death certificate, if it's in the same place you standing now you're all set. If not, you can mail away for one from that county but its a minor pain and it might take a while to get, the librarian at the desk has listings of where to write for this stuff and exactly how much it costs. Get the Birth certificate, its worth the extra money to get it certified because that's the only way some people will accept it for ID. When you're getting this stuff the little forms ask for the reason you want it, instead of writing in "Fuck you", try putting in the word "Genealogy". They get this all the time.  If the Death certificate looks good for you, wait a day or so before getting the certified birth certificate in case they recognize someone wanting it for a dead guy.

STEP 3

Now your cooking! You got your start and the next part's easy. Crank out your old Dot matrix printer and run off some mailing labels addressed to you at some phony address. Take the time to check your phony address that there is such a place. Hotels that rent by the month or large apartment buildings are good, be sure to get the right zip code for the area. These are things that the cops might notice that will trip you up.  Grab some old junk mail and paste your new labels on them. Now take them along with the birth certificate down to the library.

Get a new library card. If they ask you if you had one before say that you really aren't sure because your family moved around a lot when you were a kid. Most libraries will allow you to use letters as a form of ID when you get your card. If they want more give them a sob story about how you were mugged and got your wallet stolen with all your identification. Your card should be waiting for you in about two weeks. Most libraries ask for two forms of ID, one can be your trusty Birth Certificate, and they do allow letters addressed to you as a second

form.

STEP 4

Now you got a start, it isn't perfect yet, so let's continue. You should have two forms of ID now. Throw away the old letters, or better yet stuff them inside the wallet you intend to use with this stuff. Go to the county courthouse and show them what nice ID you got and get a state ID card. Now you got a picture ID. This will take about two weeks and cost about $5, its well worth it.

STEP 5

If the death certificate had a social security number on it you can go out and buy one of those metal SS# cards that they sell. If it didn't, then you got all kinds of pretty ID that shows exactly who you are. If you don't yet have an SS#, Go down and apply for one, these are free but they could take five or six weeks to get, Bureaucrats you know... You can invent a SS# too if you like, but the motto of 'THE WALKING GLITCH' has always been "Why not excellence?".

STEP 6

If you want to go whole hog you can now get a bank account in your new name.  If you plan to do a lot of traveling then you can put a lot of money in the account and then say you lost the account book.  After you get the new book you take out all the cash. They'll hit you with a slight charge and maybe tie-up your money some, but if you're ever broke in some small town that bank book will keep you from being thrown in jail as a vagrant.

ALL DONE?

So kiddies, you got ID for buying booze, but what else? In some towns (the larger the more likely) the cops if they catch you for something petty like shoplifting stuff under a certain dollar amount, will just give you a ticket, same thing for pissing in the street. That's it! No fingerprints or nothing, just pay the fine (almost always over $100) or appear in court. Of course they run a radio check on your ID, you'll be clean and your alter-ego gets a blot on his record. Your free and clear. That's worth the price of the trouble you've gone through right there. If your smart, you'll toss that ID away if this happens, or better yet, tear off your picture and give the ID to someone you don't like, maybe they'll get busted with it. If you're a working stiff, here's a way to stretch your dollar. Go to work for as long as it takes to get unemployment and then get yourself fired. Go to work under the other name while your getting the unemployment. With a couple of sets of ID, you can live like a king.  These concepts for survival in the new age come to you compliments of THE WALKING GLITCH.